A little while back Matthew Yglesias proposed letting in lots of immigrants to Detroit (and restricting them from entering the rest of the U.S) rather than demolishing the empty parts. From my perspective that plan has the great feature that I don’t live there and don’t see any upside to preserving Detroit. But there are a lot of very poor people around the world and it might be hard to contain all of them. Better to focus on a small population who are a real pain in their current location and have no worthwhile future there. Palestine! Detroit is already full of Arab Muslims and relatively speaking they probably improve the place by their presence. What seems to be the obvious solution to the Palestine problem of just reverting to the status quo ante-bellum by giving the area back to Egypt & Jordan is a non-starter for reasons rarely discussed, but I imagine have to do with those respective governments not wanting to deal with all those Palestinians. I don’t know exactly how many of them there are, so perhaps they might not fit in Detroit. Fine, all of Michigan seems screwed from what I hear, so we can make that the limits of their roaming (the upper-peninsula will go to Wisconsin, where it always belonged, and remain available for deer-hunting). In order to immigrate they’ll all have to agree to a charter that ensures they live boring lives that don’t bother us, but since their current home is deemed an “open-air prison” currently, why wouldn’t most sign up? With a small enough remainder, Egypt & Jordan (and perhaps even Israel) might be able to handle the sub-critical mass left over. Mark Kleiman Jonathan Zasloff thinks Sari Nusseibeh is some wise man, so they can make him Daley of Paliland. And if it turns out he’s no good, hire a successful manager from elsewhere: Sheikh Mo. I realize that contentious issues like this don’t get resolved when a genius like me proposes a perfect solution, because you idiots want symbolic sacrifices. Here goes: nobody gets the land they were living on (again, this has the great feature that I don’t live there). A permanent no-go zone. A monument to our inability to live peaceably side-by-side and remembrance of how much attention was wasted on that miserable strip of ground. In honor of America’s sacrifice of Michigan we will solemnly be exempted from ever giving a shit about the Middle East again.

Now, does anyone have any miserable rust-belt cities to resolve Kashmir? Flint maybe?

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